The holy month of ‘Saavan’ has made its way through the busy streets of the city and painted it orange. Thousands and thousands of people are seen hopping around, on their way to pay homage to Lord Shiva.
Undoubtedly, kanwariyas must feel to be on a different kinda high, when they set out for the miles-long journey before reaching the temple, where this holy caravan ends.
The music, the dance, the liveliness and oh, who can forget the most important thing that comes free with this epic voyage. Don’t you know for a fact, that during Saavan the kawariyas get the license to do anything? No ifs and no buts. They can walk, sleep, eat, bath, shit, puke, drink, smoke, attack, and even dance on roads. And if anyone dares to ruin their high, they create a perfect display of mayhem and still feel proud about it.
Here are 15 such licenses that the Kawayriyas think they have during the religious Saavan month, which is actually supposed to be spent with peace and devotion:
1. The license to get high on MaryJane
Oh, the favorite part of Kawariyas is that sweet, sweet MaryJane which is passed around in Chillums. The moment Kawariyas step out on the so-called tedious journey which they have to cover barefoot, they personally think that they have the license to smoke up and get high wherever and whenever they want to. No questions whatsoever.
2. The license to damage infrastructure
The kanwariyas are demanding. They need the facilities to be up to the mark or destruction is on the way. If the government fails, the kanwariyas join forces and damage everything that comes their way. Buildings, tents, camps, the list practically just goes on and on.
3. The license to create havoc
Are you scared of kanwariyas? If no, you should be. These stoned folks can trigger their vandalistic side just by being offended. And that could be because of anything. Literally. It could be because you accidentally bumped into them, or stepped on them, or even the way you tried to apologize.
4. The license to drink publicly
It’s an open season for kanwariyas to drink and have the time of their life. It really seems like no one actually gives a shit about religion. They drink, walk, fall, get up, fall again and the cycle goes on. But hey, it’s ok. Right? They are on a holy journey and we should respect their actions after all.
5. The license to go on an official road trip
The kanwar yatra is nothing but an official road trip where kanwariyas get to have the time of their lives. The road trip has loud Dj’s, roadside food and abundance of alcohol and weed. And that’s what the holy yatra is all about. Am I right?
6. The license to damage vehicles
God forbid if your vehicle accidentally brushes the deadly kanwariyas. If Lord Shiva is merciful, you might make it out alive, but chances are you (and your car) will be torn apart from limb to limb. And oh, just pretend that your car never existed because any which ways all you can expect to find is maybe a couple of tires and nut-bolts. That’s it.
7. The license to create traffic jams
Our government is downright crazy. No matter how many facilities are meticulously crafted for them kanwariyas, they do whatever the hell they want to. Like creating traffic jams, just because they can. And also, even if you want to, you really can’t do anything about it.
8. The license to turn roads into dance floors
The roads become temporary dance floors for the kanwariyas. All they need to spot is a DJ, sometimes even a passing by truck with loudspeakers does the job. The sudden urge to dance and shake all 206 bones of their body can be clearly demonstrated by the dancing kanwariyas.
9. The license to attack anyone with stones (even police)
The deadly kanwariyas are loaded with some epic battle weapons. (bricks, stones, sticks, etc, etc) All they need is a call from thy brethren and the ‘Spartan’ in them is unleashed. People, passers-by, trees, dogs, police- they can march with stones and break any damn wall.
10. The license to misbehave with anyone
Nowadays, mango people (like you and me) are scared AF to step out on the roads. Reason? They live in constant fear that who knows when the kanwariyas will lose their shit and go all Jackie Chan on them. If wind brushes by and you are standing next to a kanwariya, you will be thrashed left, right and center.
11. The license to do anything in the name of religion
The kanwariyas don’t care about rules, regulations, etiquette, and logic. If the gates to a temple should be opened as per their conveniences, they will make sure it is. How? They forcefully enter the temple premises, break the gates, burn buildings and even create a riot if they feel like to getting things done their way.
12. The license to sleep anywhere
With the holy ‘Kanwar’ comes the holy(shit) license to sleep anywhere. literally. Kanwariyas can be spotted sleeping on roads, footpaths, bus stops, railway stations, hotels, over personal cars, trees, metros, phone towers, buses, trucks, on your dog, on your legs, on your roof. The list just never ends.
13. The license to be aggressive for petty reasons
The sensitive nature of kanwariyas is epic. You can see a kanwariya turn into Hulk in a matter of seconds. Reasons could vary from the color of your t-shirt to the honk of your car. It could also be triggered by the rising petrol prices. No one actually knows how the hulk button gets pressed.
14. The license to forcefully enter a closed place
If there are special lanes made for kanwariyas, they feel excluded from the real action. Which is why they break the barriers and love to forcibly enter the lanes which are otherwise for vehicles. And why not, they too are on a journey and have all the right reasons to be on the road. Right?
15. The license to spark the fire for a mob attack
Even though two people are having a non- chaotic conversation, there are very high chances that you will spot a mob attack proceeding in a matter of seconds. The kanwariyas love to bring down their high by initiating an attack where they can burn those calories to get high again. Fair enough! Eh?