How To Lose Your New Job In Three Months? - Viral Bake

How To Lose Your New Job In Three Months?

Wonder why is it three months probation at office and not 1 month or 6 months or 15 days maybe?

I can say, just like that, but actually, there are two reasons behind it. One, your probation is generally for three months initially, and second, your boss and the company will keep a keen eye on you and not trust you fully for the first three months.

Once you settle in, work your way into earning their trust, they get used to your working style. Hence, I say three months.

Question answered? Now, let’s move on to the ways you can lose your job in those initial crucial three months-

1. Stop being in touch with former co-workers

I dont care

Losing a job becomes easy when you stop reconnecting with your former colleagues. After all, you don’t need those LinkedIn recommendations, do you? You are perfect on your own. Like Poo in KKKG.

2. Demonstrate a bad body language

bad body language

Negative body language like poor eye contact, sloppy posture, inattentiveness and yawning with boredom can help you to lose your job quickly. Just do this all the time and especially when an important meeting is going on.

3. Make sure not to develop any interest in knowing new co-workers

Why bother

Why bother? Right? It’s not like networking has gotten anyone anywhere. Moreover, it feels like you are buttering your peers as well along with the boss.

4. Do not maintain a healthy lifestyle

not maintaining healthy lifestyle

It is all mohmaya. A healthy lifestyle is a myth when it comes to a stressful life. You have no proper time for anything, why go through the ordeal of getting up early and go out running or skip that delicious burger.

Your boss is most likely to notice what a sleaze-bag you are and get the hint.

5. Make sure you lack proactivity at work

drinking coffee

Don’t be proactive in giving valuable suggestions. Setting goals is for nerds. You just enjoy sipping that 10th cup of coffee and watch others running from pillar to post to save their asses. Feedbacks from managers are anyways boring and full of expectations.

Also Read: Stop Blaming Monday Guys! It’s Tuesday That Is Getting On Your Nerves After Every Weekend (Research)

6. Alienate people easily for little reasons

talk to my hand

Burning bridges could be a great way to alienate people who might help you climb the ladder of success.

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7. Be Dishonest


This one you have already done, I guess, since you already have the job. You lied on your resume about your work or KRAs, and now you have no clue how to take it further.

Worry not, your performance will do the deed for you.

8. Procrastinate all the time

scared gif

Deferring your work and leaving it to tomorrow, is a great way of pissing your boss off, trust me. Just do this all the time and you are out in no time.

Don’t let them see the side where you establish a habit to inspire them to want you.

9. Let others waste your time and show leniency with subordinates as well

Go for another round of smoke or have a heart to heart at the chai shop outside with those time wasters. Not keeping your subordinates on their toes will also automatically make sure you lag in achieving your targets.

10. Fall prey to the same old nasty habits and don’t work on improving

playing golf at work

Meditating to focus better or pursuing your hobbies take effort and if you are happy with your good old habit of facebooking all the time, trust me, you do not need this. It might help you do better at this job and defy the purpose of this whole article.

11. You are a spendthrift

stressed out

Burning a hole in your pocket keeps you worried and hence, be less focused at work. If you are in a financial soup, it will make sure your performance is deteriorating and it might fuel your boss’s decision to fire you sooner.

Did You Read: 25 Hilarious Office Excuses That Will Convince Your Manager (To Take The Right Step)

12. Don’t leave your circle and don’t make efforts to branch out and have different kind of people as a company


You are content with your group which probably consist of like-minded people, who talk the same talk and walk the same walk daily. So, you learn nothing new from them.

Branching out will force you to learn which is good for the job. But you don’t want to do that for obvious reasons.

13. You forget all about the goals you set up for yourself on day one

lazy at work

You were all pumped up on your day one, and you set up goals for yourself. If you were to follow them religiously, you might end up doing great at your position. But instead, you forget those goals on day 2 itself. A great way to lose your job indeed.

14. You try to be a people pleaser rather than an efficient worker

pleasing people

You believe it best to let everyone have what they want at your expense. Even if it means it is hampering your performance at work. Sooner or later, it will come back to bite you in the ass.

15. Waste your time gossiping and bitching about co-workers


You hold intense grudges against people like your boss or your peer and spend time bitching about them and filling your own head with venom. It will surely obstruct your efficiency at work cuz, well, you are burning so much of your positive energy.

16. You are chronically tardy


Want to look careless and insincere to your job? Tardiness will make sure it happens. And Your boss then will make sure you lose.

17. Indulging in personal calls or excessive use of internet all day long

monkey on phone

Using office facilities for your own benefit, excessively. So much that it hurts your performance as well, is the way to go if you want the job gone in three months.

18. Hunting for another job thinking no one will know

job hunting

So, you have updated your resume and looking for a better-paying opportunity. But you forget it is the age of internet connectivity and networking. Someone somewhere will know and inform your boss. Then you wouldn’t need to put in your papers.

19. Play the blame game with everyone else

i didn't do it

They say those who don’t work and are at fault are the ones who play the blame game with others the most. Pointing an accusing finger at some else when it was your fault, makes you look like a manipulator and no one likes one in their team.

20. Develop love interest in the office

love interest at work

(only if you are single, we don’t take the responsibility of what will happen if you are married)

There are no relationship policies in most offices and if found, management may decide to let go of one of you. Besides, behaving lovesick at workplace makes you lose interest at work.

In Conclusion (since it is important for such an article to be conclusive ;))

 I hope I covered almost all the possible ways to lose your job. And it’s up to you now to choose what suits your personality type the best and tempts you the most to let your job slide right through your fingers.


I am a hip-hop music lover and I am passionate about writing rhymes. I prefer listening to music over movies any day. I do possess expert knowledge on content & influencer marketing and have helped some popular brands. I spend me time with memes (reading and creating both).

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