Parents – We poor species have no idea what has befallen us in the form of those sweet little devils called children. We become everything right from mom and dad to a teacher, a mentor, a buddy, a toy, even a foot mate to please those adorable small versions of human beings.
But do not take us to be so innocent, for when it comes to punishing the kids or making them do their homework, we often become a modern Avatar of Nirupa Roy and Kirron Kher.
Doing everything in our power from building up wicked plans to using emotional or threatening dialogues, we don’t hesitate to cross every big or small limit to set our kids straight.
Even if it means a guilt trip to the moon and back, it won’t stop us from trying.
Here are 10 dialogues we(modern parents) use to blackmail our kids in believing that parents are the boss:
1. Am I your father or are you mine? (Read: Main tera baap hun ya tu Mera?)
Kids are adored and loved, sometimes to an extent of becoming spoilt little brats. It isn’t unusual for even a five-year-old to argue and talk back nowadays. Obviously being parents, you can’t afford to be belittled by your own spawn. A frustrated father’s dialogue when he can’t spank a small one.
2. If you don’t study now, you will become a beggar
Making them study is equivalent to moving mountains. Agreed? I can’t agree more. A lot of us moms use this dialogue and show them some beggars on the street to motivate them to study. Truth is, it doesn’t work.
3. You will never see the face of Shinchan or Doremon Ever Again
Another homework inducing dialogue for those Japanese toon lovers. Works every time.
4. I am going to leave you in the toy shop and never come back
It is a quite common sight to find kids sprawled across the floor, cribbing and crying for a toy. Sometimes you give in, but then you think, let’s follow the parenting rule of not encouraging them. Best weapon – you start walking out the store glaring at your kid, mouthing this dialogue.
5. Your toy is specially made by Santa himself
Then someday, your sweet pea comes home crying and complaining about how her friend’s Barbie is prettier than hers. You silently roll your eyes and make her happy by sticking her with the above dialogue.
6. You better start learning the house chores
Your son wants to skip school today and trying to appease you to let him stay home. You pick up the broom and hand it over to him. “Here, let’s remove you from the school entirely and end this today. I will relieve the maid and you can take over the house chores instead.” That makes them run faster than the Rajdhani express.
7. Shall I give you a math problem to solve
So, your child just came home from the park, winner of the most spoilt t-shirt in the troop. You are enraged at the sight and hit him with this math-monster. At least he won’t do it for the next couple of days.
8. Let me WhatsApp your teacher and ask
Social media has given us parents the freedom to keep an evil eye on our kid’s performance. They can’t lie their way out in any way possible. The livewire footage from the classroom is another blackmail tool to make them finish work at school.
9. If you don’t eat your Saag, all your friends will outgrow you
If there is something every single kid wants, that is to grow big and feel like an adult. It works best when they are not eating something. You just have to tell them they will remain shorter than their friends and watch them hog down the entire plate in one go. Competitive much?
10. Go and become her son and then you’ll know my worth
Your kid comes home singing praises of the neighbor who let their kids play and never harass them to study. What do you say? Go and become her son or exchange me with her and then you wait and watch how she treats you.
All I can say in the end is,
We (parents) use all sorts of gimmicks to try puppeteering our kid’s acts. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But we never quit trying. And that’s the best part of being a parent.