Stoners are the most chilled out folks on the entire planet.
Why do I say so? Well, because I am one of them. However, this post isn’t about describing the awesomeness of stoners but to relate to the problems (WE) stoners face, when you stay with your family.
Here are the (really really really really) real problems that every stoner faces, who put up with his/her family. But as I belong to the same stoners cult, I have given a few free tips to control the damage.
1. Going out isn’t always an option
It sucks. You are craving for a J and want to go out for a few minutes at night. But can you? Obviously not, it will just attract your mum’s unwanted attention to your illegal habits (smoking I mean) and you will be grounded for the week. One of the most common problems stoners face.
2. Where to hide the stash
The most problematic PROBLEMS stoners face when staying with parents. You cannot just hide it in your drawer or cupboard. Your mom is going to invade the space. So, you think of innovative hiding spots, which can range from shoes to under the clothes to the top moist shelf which only you can climb.
3. Carrying rolled joint’s home
Rolling can be a crime at home, so you can’t just peacefully crush and roll while your mom cooks in the kitchen. Most of the stoners roll it at their work and carry it home. But to hide that filled doobie is a challenge and god forbid she checks your bag. You are a goner then.
4. The spy sibling
If you are blessed with a good sibling (like mine) who covers up for you, when you are planning to smoke up, its a miracle. Because usually, most siblings are a pain in the ass and they are after your life to find out one piece of evidence to declare you a drug addict unless you offer some RISHWAT!
5. Waiting for everyone to doze off
You are tired AF after your day’s work, all you want to do is smoke the joint and doze off, but you have to wait until everyone sleeps. Because only then, you can be sure there will be no sudden knocks on the door demanding to open it instantly. And it’s only and only then you can smoke your J at peace.
6. The smell control
Another herculean task is to get rid of the smell. From room fresheners to perfumes, one of the problems stoner face is to make sure the smell doesn’t get left behind. My advice, try burning thick incense sticks, they emit heavy smoke that will stay for longer, giving time for weed smoke to leave your room.
Did You Read: Dialogues In A Smoker (Stoner) Brain When You Annoy Them
7. How to light the shit
Obviously, you can’t carry a lighter and click it to wake up the whole house when you light your J. So, you need to have an alternate. Get a matchbox. And check it to make sure the matchbox isn’t running out of sticks, or you will curse yourself to death. To avoid this, light candles in your room every day so that no one doubts you.
8.The pets (if any)
The pets can create trouble sometimes. Obviously, they have super hearing abilities and no matter how silently you tip-toe across the hall to get that matchbox from the puja shelf, they will hear it and get up. Keep them close and pretend that you are giving food to them. Works every time, even if you get caught stealing matchbox.
9. Smoking up in stealth mode
Ok, so you survived all the above. Now you need to smoke and one of the biggest problems stoners face. You cannot get caught now. So probably, you will be standing next to the window, or supporting your ass by the bed. Sometimes your hands would strain because you are trying so hard to ensure all the smoke goes out of the window.
So much for smoke -ups!
I know, I know. You have to go through so much trouble for smoking that glorious joint which destresses your soul. But what to do, moms and dads would never get it. And if you try to be over smart, you know they are going to disown you for smoking ‘GANJA’ that they think is the cheap rickshawalas Nasha!
But hey, it doesn’t bring down your dedication to smoke, right? So, don’t worry.