If you are a stoner, you know where I am headed.
That awesome smoke-sess that you had with your homies was super cool. But wait, now you have to get your ass up and drag it all the way home or if you are smoking in stealth mode, you need to finally get into your bed and sleep. But trust me, that’s a task when you are high AF!
Most of you are already smirking because you remember the shitty thing you got paranoid at, just because you were stoned to the core. However, once you sober down, you laugh your ass off thinking about the thing that you got scared of in the first place. Here are those 9 situations that stoners get paranoid at when high AF-
There have been times when I got paranoid AF because I was hearing footsteps. Footsteps that sounded like someone is there, walking right by my side. But actually, there is no one. This happens with stoners, very often. It only gets clear after a while when you realize that its none other than YOU. It was your fucking footsteps that you heard. LOL.
2. People are staring at you
OK, I don’t know if this is overly exaggerated but whenever I am stoned and have to travel, I always and always get the feeling that the entire metro crowd is watching me. They have their eyes fixed on me. But that’s not the reality. 99% of the times, it’s your brain making you paranoid because you are high.
3. Cops are coming to get you
The most terrifying paranoia that stoners experience is this one. If you are stoned and run into a cop, each and every fiber in your body will emit out the fear that the cops know you are stoned. They know you are a stoner, they know who you are and they will arrest you. Though, nothing actually happens. Relate much?
4. Someone is following you
Raise your hands if you have ever shitted yourself thinking that someone is following you. However, mostly it turns out to be the uncle that lives in the same lane as you, but him walking behind you is enough to make your paranoid brain stimulate all kinds of shitty things. Weed does that to you, yeah.
5. Fuck, your mom knows you are stoned
You walk into your house and your mom calls out your name. Even if it has nothing to do with weed, the first thought that runs your mind is,’ Oh shit, she smelled weed on me. I am screwed, she knows, she fucking knows!’. Reality- Hey son, help me get that box out of the top shelf! (true story)
6. OMG, you are carrying stuff in your pocket
When and if you have to carry weed home, you know the level of paranoia you face. It ranges from- everyone knows I have weed on me, I have surely dropped the stuff somewhere, did I keep it in the right pocket’. Finally, you reach your safe heaven and realize that its all cool and you were shitting yourself in vain.
7. You will die of thirst
Oh yeah, you get thirsty AF after you smoke up. And if it happens late night and you don’t have a bottle next to you, chances are that you will have the thought ‘I am gonna die of thirst’ at least 500000 million times before you finally drag your ass up to the kitchen and gulp 5 liters of water.
8. You are talking to yourself- way too much
So, how many of you are inside YOU? The next time you start talking to yourself, try and count the number of little voices you have in your head. Let me warn you, this is going to be epic fun. I bet, after a while, you will just end up staring at something and thinking to yourself ‘ Dude, I never knew there are so many I’s in ME!’
9. You have a ghost in your room
Has a slight creak or tap in your room made you scared AF? Most of the times when you are stoned to the core, your brain makes you believe that the regular sound of water dripping, or window creaking is not common. It’s actually a ghost coming to get you, as they show in movies. Reality is not even close though.
I am sure that you must have experienced at least a few of the paranoia’s I have mentioned in the above list. No doubt, getting stoned is one of the best feelings in the whole world. You laugh, get paranoid, eat like an ass and the sleep like a baby once your brain is done making you paranoid. Nevertheless, smoke-up is fun, isn’t it?