Funny stories

Some Good, Some Weird Things Every Stoner Says

If you ask a cigarette smoker to stop smoking, they’ll be like, ‘Haan bhai, I know it’s bad for health. I’m going to quit smoking from tomorrow.’

But if you ask the same question to a stoner, they will start telling you all the benefits of using marijuana and getting stoned.

No offence, I’m a stoner myself but it seems kind of annoying when a stoner opens up the entire Wikipedia to tell other people about the benefits of smoking-up.

This is one of the many traits of being a stoner. And if you are one, you can’t help it, it’s in your blood now.

Just like this here are some good and some bad things every stoner says.

1. Are my eyes red?

Your eyes speak a thousand words, ‘you are high,’ these are just a few of them. To make sure your eyes won’t tell everyone that you are danged, every stoner tries to make sure that their eyes are not red. Hence the question Are my eyes red is so common.

2. Wanna get high?

Everything feels good when you are high, bullshit that comes out from other peoples mouth don’t feel like bullshit. So do you wanna get high?

3. I totally forgot what I was gonna say.

My friend: Hey listen, I’ve something to tell you. Listen… listen… listen…..

Me: Haan bool.

My friend: Okay, listen… after 10 minutes. Man, I think I forgot what I was gonna say.

4. What the heck are we doing?

Pushpendar (dost 1) Kya…

Rawat (dost 2) Kya…

Me (mai khud) Kya…

10 minutes later…. when someone gets back to their senses.

Rawat: What the heck are we doing?

5. Why are we here?

Although, you have already decided to go to the cafe to grab something to eat, but don’t forget you are high. 10 minute before reaching the cafe you might find yourself asking this question to your friend, Why are we here?

6. I’m kind of hungry.

Scientifically speaking, food tastes better when you are high.

Stoned? Read This: Different Lightsaber Combat Forms From Star Wars That Every Fan Should Know About

7. Self-realization

Have you ever heard two stoners talking? If not then that’s what they usually talk about.

*Hits Blunt*

Bro listen, If practice makes a man perfect, but nobody is perfect. Then everyone is doing practice?

8. I’m so high man.

The feeling of getting high is so amazing. It’s hard to keep it to yourself that’s why right now I want to scream out loud. ‘I’m so high bro.’

9. I don’t think I’ve enough money.

This is something that a stoner says without getting high.

10. Let’s score something.

Why not, everything looks so much better with a bag of weed.

11. Someone is smoking weed.

If you are not a stoner you might never notice this but a stoner can smell someone smoking weed from miles away.

12. I don’t smoke that often.

Although, I light a blunt after every hour, but it’s secret don’t tell my mom.

13. Let’s try something new.

To be honest, whenever someone says let’s try something new, I hear them saying, let’s waste some weed. Submarine, Gravity bong, leafblower, cross-joint, jumbo j, e.t.c are just a few ways you can waste your weed. So just stick to your blunt or desi chilam.

14. I’m consuming it for its medicinal purposes.

Everyone has got their own reason to smoke-up, for me, weed kills cancer and I don’t want to die with cancer, it’s so cliche after all.

Stoned? Read This: Weed Hacks To Solve The Problems Stoners Face During Their Smoke Session

In Conclusion

Stoners think alike, that’s why I’m sure you all think the same after getting high. Right now I’m thinking about rolling another one, but I think my boss is right behind me staring at my laptop screen. Ohhh… It’s just the headrest of my chair. I think I’m high bro. Let’s order something.


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