House hunting is such a pain in the ass.
But sadly, everyone has to go through this river of fire. It downright sucks. But, finding a house is not just about the room and locality, it has much more to that. Really! Much much more!
Which is why I have come up with these thoughts that cross my mind each time I have to house hunt. And if you have been in the same lane, I bet you will smirk when you read these thoughts:
1. Landlord Kaisa Hoga (yikes….more like hoga kya?)
Raise your hand if you always choose houses that don’t have landlords living on the ground floor. I mean, who wants a poking landlord with glasses on his nose, who judges you each time a guy or a girl visits your place. Landlord chahiye Hi Nai Boss is the mantra I keep repeating while I house hunt.
2. Single Girl/Guy? (Bahut dikkat hai Bhai!)
I know, if you are single and live alone (like me), you must have faced issues. People frown when they hear you will live alone. Why? Because all they picture is the house full of guys/girls and booze and parties after your shifting. Some even have a nervous breakdown the moment you say,’Haan uncle, rahungi akele but FRIENDS aate rahenge’.
3. Pani ayega na? (Subah 6 bje na uth ra main pani bharne!)
It is very likely that you will find houses which have a specific time period in which water is available. And hey, it won’t be during normal hours, mind you. It will precisely be 3.30 am to 4.30 am (conjuring hour) or evening 5 to 6 (when you are at work). Kuch Yaad aya?
4. Pest problem? (Cockroaches, rats….pigeons..millipedes… WTF!)
Many a time I have been showed houses, which have a pest problem. I still remember that once while house hunting I came across a house where the landlord was really cool about everything. Even the fact that the ground floor was infested with rats, cockroaches and pigeons and creepy crawlies and lizards and whatnot. I hope you got my point.
5. Smoking allowed? (Cuz I can’t live wdout mah blunt yo!)
Ok. The biggest problem when you smoke is neighbors and landlords. If you can’t enjoy that heavenly puff of smoke in the balcony at late nights, what’s the use of a rented place. Right? I mean, why the fuck am I giving the rent when I can’t even smoke?
6. Nosy neighbors ni cheye Bhaiyaa!
I hate the neighbors who have an ultimate goal to know what you are up to. The entire day, night, afternoon – all they do is, ‘Beta, Arey app Aaj office Nai Gaye? Beta, office ja re ho?Beta, Kal kon aya tha? I mean, go get a job man. (Phewww
7. Light bahut Kam jati hai! (Like just 8 hours every day)
The biggest nightmare anyone has is once you are home from work, and power goes off, only to come back when its time for you to leave for work. Again. I know you must be thinking that it doesn’t happen anymore, but trust me there are still many areas that have this issue. And frankly, I stay far away from those slums. Like 8 hours away!
8. Can I keep a pet? ( awkward silence)
It’s very common to have a dog or cat with you when you shift. Right? They are more like family members. But some landlords have a paralytic shock when they hear you wanna shift with your pooch or furball. God. I wish I could kill them with a bazooka.